When God Says “Rest” and I Say “But the Laundry”

I can’t rest, Lord.

Look at the dishes overflowing in the sink.

Don’t you see the laundry everywhere?

It’s impossible to rest with a toddler.

Okay. - Jesus, probably.

I have diapers to change, food to make, dishes to clean in order to make said food, groceries to buy, appointments to make, and this is another week that I still haven’t gotten to mopping the floor.

Okay. - Jesus, probably.

And those vents I had on my list to deep clean 3 months ago? It’s still not done.

Okay. - Jesus, probably.

I’m really tired, Lord. I feel like there’s always things to do and there’s never enough time.

I know. - Jesus, probably.

I never get a break. I feel resentful, and grumpy.

Hmmm. - Jesus, probably.

It’s so easy for life to feel like a hamster wheel. Work, groceries, dinner, get ready for bed, sleep, repeat. It always feels like a hurry.

Hurrying to start work. Hurrying to finish work. Hurrying to get all the things done before another day. And then before I know it, another week has passed by. Another month, and another year. I long for the days to feel slower. I crave sitting, resting, reminiscing, enjoying the moment before it passes too quickly and becomes another fleeting memory.

I continually fight my desire for slow and rest while simultaneously feeling like there’s never enough time to slow down.

And the Lord keeps waiting for me. Patiently. Lovingly. Just like when I tell my son what he needs, he doesn’t see the actual need or understanding for it until something happens. I can tell him that if he pulls the bottom box from the tower at the grocery store, everything will fall. But he won’t believe me until he sees what actually happens when he pulls it from the bottom :) He’s a human that’s learning. And I lovingly help him clean up the mess. Or I’m unlike Jesus, and get frustrated that he didn’t listen to me the first time lol.

Oh how Jesus lets us pull the bottom box from the tower over and over again, and is always there to help us clean the mess back up. He waits to see if we’re ready to try a new way this time, and when we ignore Him, He still helps us clean the mess again.

Okay Lord, I think I’m ready to listen.

And honestly, it took me getting an HTMA test to finally accept the reality check.

My mineral test showed that my body was so past flight or fight that it was just holding on for dear life. I was in a deep calcium shell - I can’t remember all the details right now, but I thought adrenal fatigue was bad, and this was like adrenal fatigue, who? That was 10 years ago girlllllll, we’re deep past that.

You know what’s crazy? When I learned about this, I kind of felt like my test was mixed up with someone else 😂 Since I had left teaching a few years prior, I felt like I was doing so much better. Teaching was a stress level out of this world, and I was nowhere near that level. But I don’t think I ever really stopped the go-go-go. And it’s hard to pull yourself back from reality sometimes to see how you’re always doing and never being.

I read, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, which is a wonderful book. But you don’t need a book if you don’t feel like reading a book :) Honestly, you might just need what I need, which is a lot of rest days.

I know it sounds crazy, but stay with me for a few more minutes. There’s so much goodness I have seen on the other side of a rest day.

I have PTO (paid time off) days from my 9-5 job. And I never felt like a “day off” as a wife, mom, and homemaker did that name justice. Nonetheless, I was grateful to not have to work my 9-5. However, I found myself resentful when the “day off” was over because I was running around doing things all day. Sometimes I would stay home all day, but even just prepping for dinner, doing a load of laundry, and taking care of the toddler, fills a day up so fast. My husband would come home and I would say, “I mean it wasn’t really a day off, and I still didn’t get everything done, but sure it was a good day” LOL. I would almost rather not have the PTO so that I can at least not be annoyed and angry about not getting to rest like I was hoping to, but definitely don’t tell my boss that….

So you know what I did last week? We had a full weekend - I made a batch of pot pies (which takes me most of a day), we saw family one day, and friends another. Which are things I very much love, but I knew I didn’t feel rested and felt on the go. I actually had a PTO day scheduled for that Monday, but I had a list of things I was planning on getting done that day. Instead, I took a true rest day and it was SO glorious.

Everything I had on my list, I put off until another day - it’s kind of surprising the amount of things that you can put off a little bit longer. I know it doesn’t feel good, but neither does a burnt out version of yourself. I got my toddler up and still made his smoothie and my protein shake, but then I sat outside for 2 hours while he played, and I read my book. We came inside, and I did the same thing for another while longer before making us an easy lunch. My son had peed his bed, so I did that load of laundry, and I didn’t make it a big deal. A day of rest with a toddler is bound to look a little different, and that’s okay :) I think I watched a movie while my toddler napped, and then I didn’t plan for dinner very well, so I went to the store and made an easy dinner.

Sure, I could have ordered food, but we had the day before too🙃 And I’m really not shooting for perfection right now. I have never in my 29 years of life had a weekly rest day, so I don’t expect to nail it right away.

One of my favorite things to help when I’m too hard on myself - it’s practice.

I’m practicing how to have a full day of rest each week.

I am one to go all in or not at all, so telling myself that I’m practicing has been so helpful for this.

I still have questions. I ask myself if a certain activity, like blogging, is considered resting. But as I ask God to help me with my questions and not get too focused on the technicalities, I figure if I’m doing things I love, and spending time with Jesus, I’m doing a-okay 🙂

The goodness I’ve seen

I’ve only been practicing this a couple of months, but here’s the goodness I have seen.

When I ended up using that Monday PTO day as my rest day? By the time I needed to go to the store and get stuff for dinner, I felt SO ready to get back to things. While not a true full rest day, I felt completely content to get off the couch and make a quick nourishing meal for my family. It’s as if my battery just got fully charged, and I’m ready to gooooo.But remember Brittany, not go nonstop lol.

I don’t resent others as much, or lash out in anger as much. When I was always going, I was always so focused on the next thing. I’m just like my toddler (which honestly gives me so much more grace for him), as he does the same thing🤭 He will be in the middle of giving dad a hug, and thinking about how he needs to do a high-five without really finishing his hug because that’s his routine haha.

Without rest, I am always thinking about what’s next and what still needs to be done without fully enjoying the present. In the back of my mind is always the list of what I didn’t get to. But with rest, I get a day where I say that I’ve done enough.I’ve done what I can, and I trust that God will help me with the things I didn’t get to yet. Or I might even be more motivated to get the things done I’ve been putting off because ...rest is coming :) It sets the tone that I’m not a slave to the week, but rather it’s there to serve me and my family as best as we see fit.

I trust God more.

I would say that I trust God and His promises, but did I? I wouldn’t dare say that He’s wrong….but I was thinking it and questioning it. I was saying that it felt impossible to rest as a mom, wife, and homemaker. I was questioning how to have enough time in the day. And I’ve slowly started to see that God is who He says He is. God is always telling us that He is our helper, so I’ve started taking that more seriously :) I ask Him for help in all the things throughout my day. And I notice that I miraculously get things done that don’t make sense to have gotten done. And sometimes things don’t get done, and He’s helping me see how that’s okay too.

Sometimes He gives us a supernatural ability when our human ability fails. 2 Corinthians 12:9–10 says “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” We are literally putting God on display when we stop depending on ourselves to do everything. See?! SO MUCH goodness, right?! We were never meant to do it all and carry it all. That’s why we were given Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

I get more help when I stop.

I remember having the thought (and I have rudely said this to my husband as well) that I feel like I’m doing everything around the house. But I notice that when I stop, my husband fills in more on the day I rest (and other times because I’m less of a crazy lady trying to do everything all the time). Why would others jump in, when I’m always taking care of everything? When I don’t show that I need help and am human too? I would love for our family to take a rest day together as time goes on, but this is all new to us right now. And not only do I notice more of how he helps around the house, but I also love and appreciate him more for how he helps me, and for how much he supports me when I rest too.

I have time to do more of the things I love all while setting a better example for my family.

I have been scrapbooking, journaling, reading fiction books, noticing how wonderful the sunshine feels when we’re outside, getting inspiration in the things that I do, coloring, and watching movies. And my son especially gets to see that I don’t live in a state of never resting. He will hopefully grow up to appreciate the gift of rest that the Lord gave us, and see the value of it. I pray he sees how it doesn’t all fall on him and that Jesus is His helper too. And I just don’t want him to feel bad for resting, you know?

I’m always looking for ways to slow life down. Since I can’t make a time machine, nor do I actually want to lol, then I think much of how my life feels comes down to how I view it and treat it. Life can be a constant rush, and I think it’s more difficult to choose to stop and stop often. But oh is it so, so worth it. It’s like bringing part of heaven down to earth.

Much love + I’m rooting for you!

<3 Brittany