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  • Writer's pictureBrittany Major

Is it giving up or is it a faith glow up?

Updated: 6 days ago

Are you as stubborn as I am that you refuse to give up unless you're basically forced? Maybe you refuse to change jobs even if it doesn't feel like the right fit anymore. You just know you can make it work if you try hard enough. Or maybe you're trying to grow your audience on social media and you've lost your peace around it. But you refuse to stop trying because you don't give up easily and you don't want to fail. This blog post is for you if you need more relief around the thing that you keep trying to make work, but you just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm here to provide you some reassurance that giving up is not equivalent to failing, bring some joy back even though all you see is uncertainty, and provide a reminder that God doesn't play by Earthly rules, He plays by His own rules

Here was/is my problem: I want to fix everything and refuse to give up

This might be the former teacher in me, but I am a problem fixer kind of person. If there's an issue, I would rather talk about it right then and there and get to working on a resolution. My non-confrontation husband just lovessss this trait of mine, LOL. With that being said, I don’t like admitting that any problem is too big for me to fix. I love a good challenge, and I like to push through things so that I can make them better, and/or make them work best for my life. But I think sometimes this can result in me feeling like I'm not good enough if I can't solve the problems set in front of me.

Let me give you an example. When I was teaching, there was room for improvement *literally* everywhere you looked and that meant there was a lot of problems for me to try and solve. I quickly got burnt out from solving problem after problem after problem. It was this constant cycle of a problem turning into me being unable to solve it no matter how hard I tried, and that grew to me getting frustrated and feeling resentful. I started to not want to go to my job anymore. I couldn't see how to make it any better. The joy that typically came to me easily in my job, was a fight for each day.

I kept pushing through, trying to survive the days, and thanking God for being with me through it all, but it still was HARD. I'm also the type to always keep searching for the positive side of things. I kept feeling confused on why I couldn't make the best out of this and stay positive. And I remember hearing someone (specifically Leslie Burris, you can find/follow this amazing woman here) say, "frustration might be an invitation to something new". I was so ready to hear those words. I started to see that I was fighting so hard to make something work when maybe it was time to surrender to what God was inviting me to next. I was trying to ignore the thought of leaving what I thought would be a successful and life-long teaching career because it felt like giving up in my brain more than anything else. But the BEST thing I did was give myself a permission slip to try something different, stop viewing it as giving up, and get curious about the frustrations I was having instead of being angry at myself (and others) for not being able to fix everything. And I could start to feel the joy slowly coming back.

Epiphany #1 - Changing your mind is a gift

I don’t know what your situation looks like, but for me, leaving the career that I wanted since I was a child (literally a dream come true), was not easy to just walk away from. I often thought about all the things I loved, and it truly broke my heart knowing what I was leaving. I started teaching for the kids, but I was leaving for all the other reasons, and that didn't feel fair to me or the kids. But what I was doing just wasn't working for me anymore.

I say all of that because I want you to know that I understand a change like this is not easy. Our brains will list off 10 reasons of why we shouldn't before they give us a reason why we should. Sometimes, it feels like you have the weight of so many people/things/etc. on your shoulders with just one decision. A decision that can be heartbreaking and also heart-mending at the same time. It's wild.

BUT it's also a gift. God didn't create us to be robots, he gave us a brain on purpose. It would be easy for Him to program His kids to do everything He says. But He knows that when a child veers off course and they come running back to Him for love and encouragement, that creates a relationship that grows deeper and richer than any robot can have. And that's the whole point - God gave you the gift of free-will, so that you can make decisions, change your mind, mess up, try again, NEED HIM, and grow more to the one who made you. Life is nothing short of boring, and that's because we have the gift of a beautiful brain, and not doing the same thing day after day, especially when it no longer lights up our souls.

When you feel like giving up, but you can't stand the thought of feeling like a failure, remember that you are not defined by a choice you make. You are a child of God that has the gift of free will. And I would argue that it takes more faith to make a scary decision than it does to keep doing the thing that you don't love anymore. Change your mind. Try something different. Know that your faith is upgrading as you lean on Him, and He is holding your hand along the way.

"The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand." Psalm 37:23-24

Epiphany #2 - God doesn't play by the Earthly rules

I had A LOT of reasons for why I shouldn’t have made the change in my career. Such as: It wasn't financially smart, or I would be ruining the retirement set up I had. Those were the ones my brain always liked to remind me of. The safety net I had. The other thought that always crept in was: What if next year is better? I had 0 evidence that it would be, but nevertheless, I would always indulge in those thoughts. But none of those reasons were lighting up my soul and bringing me joy. To be honest, they were all earthly reasons to stay - comfort, money, and security. I like to remember that I follow a God that doesn't play by Earthly rules. He sees a river in the way and He parts it. CAN I GET AN AMEN?

But in all seriousness, your brain is there to keep you safe, and doing something new doesn't usually feel safe. So we have to give our brains some evidence that there is some good on the other side, and we will be okay. Here's what I offered my brain: What if it's not giving up, what if it's a time for me to trust God with the next part of my life and He's inviting me to an upgrade in my faith? While I was feeling a little bit like a failure for ending a career (that felt more like a calling), I look back and am so proud of the woman that knew this decision didn't make sense, but did it anyways.

Have faith that you will be okay because of the God who never leaves nor forsakes you. The world may not always understand, but when you follow God, it surpasses a worldly understanding. You don't know what is in store for you next, but taking the leap and trusting God without knowing, is exactly what faith is.

"He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20

Epiphany #3 - Get curious on the frustration you're feeling

For this final epiphany, I want to go back to what Leslie Burris said - "frustration might be an invitation to something new". Frustration can easily cause us to throw up our hands and do nothing - which is exactly what the enemy wants by the way. But this new way of looking at it can help us move from doing nothing to trying something.

When I was in this situation of going back and forth on what I should do, I kept finding myself saying, "I just don't know what to do!" Which is pretty normal for uncertainty, especially when it feels like a big decision and you're avoiding feeling negating emotions. This thought led to inaction, which really didn't solve anything. When I was teaching, after a lot of going back and forth, I finally decided to just try a different grade and see what happened. Turns out - my next school year got even harder, LOL-whoops. BUT that was the turning point that led me to make the next decision of fully leaving teaching. And now, not only do I love my new job, I also get to stay home with my son every day....which is another God story because when I was leaving this job I hand't even found out that I was pregnant yet (and I 100% would have started looking for options to be home with my son)! Tell me again how God doesn't look out for you and take care of every little detail of your life.

Here's my point - maybe making the decision to switch the grade I taught wasn’t the smartest, but it led me to where I am now. That little decision led me to the next and the next. It can be so hard when we get worried that we won't make the "right" decision, but instead of focusing on right vs. wrong, just focus on making one decision, even if it's small. Don’t discredit the stepping stones. Ask yourself questions. Get curious. Find out why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling, and how you want to feel. Journal about it. Talk to God about it and then take a baby step.

Getting curious about the frustration you're feeling allows your brain to go from feeling scared and only seeing uncertainty to feeling like whatever you’re wrestling with might be possible and okay. And that is the perfect storm for something that will upgrade your faith, your life, and the lives of others around you.

SO, are you giving up, or is a glow up in your faith?

What's a decision that has felt heavy on your heart lately? How do you want to feel about it? Is there one baby step you could take to start feeling the way you want to feel about it? I hope this blog post brought you some relief and reminded you that making a change is not a failure, but rather an upgrade in your faith. Keep getting curious on the frustrations you have and remember that changing your mind is a gift. Even when things don't make sense to the world, remember that following God gives you an understanding that surpasses all. He plays by His own set of rules and I can't wait to see the things He has in store for you.

Much love and I'm rooting for you,

Brittany ♡


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