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  • Writer's pictureBrittany Major

If you feel apprehensive about having kids....

I was NOT convinced that I wanted to have kids. In fact, I was leaning towards never having them, lol.

When people would ask me if we were going to have kids, I would always respond with, "Ehhh they seem like a lot of work and I like my freedomツ" Which is kind of weird because I grew up loving being around kids, babysitting kids, and I even taught them for a while.

But the older I got, the more I felt and often heard about the weight of kids. It was always "They are (insert something challenging about kids), but they are worth it" and I would always think, that's great, but like....I don't want to sign up for that, lol. I wasn't convinced that having kids would be that wonderful and I liked my life the way it was. And to top it all off, I was pretty scared of going through pregnancy (you can read about that cool story here).

And then after a week straight of waking up with morning sickness, I realized that God had other plans for me, lol.

I was honestly never super excited when I was pregnant (oof, getting vulnerable here). The majority of my pregnancy, I would say the best way to describe what I was feeling was....grieving. I was sad for the life I had that was about to change. I was sad about the time Dan and I were no longer going to get as just the 2 of us. Our relationship is so special to me that I just love the time we get to spend together. And I was sad about the freedom that I was going to lose.

And then baby Luke was born.

I can’t even describe to you what that feeling was like (besides shock at first that this thing just came out of me and now we are in charge of another humanツ).

And as the days passed, our love for him grew and grew. And I started to view things so much differently. All I could think about was how our life was just so much fuller.

Instead of feeling like I was missing out on my old life, it felt more like my heart grew and not only made room for this other life that was part of us now, but also felt more complete with him in it too. And now I can't imagine our life without him. The love is so deep that I truly feel like it's the purest kind out there. And the closest form of love (that we can comprehend) to the love Jesus has for us.

While there are moments that I miss - mostly napping and sleeping as much as I want - it doesn’t even come close to the days that are just so much sweeter.

You know how when you get a dog and you can’t imagine your life without them? And you don't even care if their whining wakes you up in the middle of the night because you just love them so dang much. It’s that, but even more so. Sorry if comparing kids to dogs offends you, lol.

Anyways. You might not ever want to have kids, but if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, I hope you think about this blog post. I hope you lean on God and His plans for you. In the midst of my pregnancy, while I was unsure about the future, I kept trusting God and remembering that He has far better plans for me. And I'm so thankful that He completely wrecked the plans I had. I'm so thankful that He chose me to be a mom.

And you know what I think is the coolest part? You were specifically chosen to be their mom. You are exactly the mom that child needs. You were picked. No other relationship is divinely created like that and it’s the most special thing in the world.

Much love,

Brittany ♡

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