Do you ever hear those commercials that say, "Check out our school! Look at how this 3rd grader is doing 5th grade stuff....blah, blah, blah”.ツ That can be all fine and dandy, it's just that I have experienced (and I have also witnessed) how kids typically end up in that situation, and I'm not a fan of that process. I don’t know about you, but sometimes things like those commercials make me feel a little pressure, or like I need to make sure my child doesn't fall behind ASAP (which is kinda silly in world full of complex and different people). If you're feeling worried about your child not getting a head start, or being ready for 1st grade when they start preschool (lol), then this blog post is just for you!
I was the advanced kid
I think the reason those commercials get under my skin a little bit is because I was the annoying advanced kid and now I have thoughts about that. I can't even blame my parents because if anything, they tried to get me to not worry about schoolwork as much as I did. ツ I took the college level classes so that I could have a head start in college, and then I graduated college early, in 3 years, so that I could get a head start in work....and you're probably already seeing the pattern here. But I learned so much from that experience.
The first realization I had was, when does this end? It started to feel like I was always pushing so hard to meet a goal, and then I would meet it, but I wouldn’t slow down. I would find a new goal (or maybe what I finally achieved wasn't what I had expected the end result to be), so I would start pushing hard to the next thing. After a while, I looked back and thought to myself, "I pushed so hard that I missed out on the most important part - enjoying the ride." I'm sure a lot of people told me that, but it was one of those things that my stubborn self had to figure out from my own mistakes. I don’t think pushing hard to meet a goal is necessarily bad. I think the problems came about when I was always chasing the next achievement. Without celebrating my wins along the way. Without loving where I was and appreciating the life around me. Without having an open mind when the present day had something different in store for me than what I planned.
When I think on what I hope for Luke….it’s not that. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change my experiences for anything. Well most of them, haha. And I know if Luke is anything like me, he will also need to learn his own lessons. But, I don’t feel the pressure to make sure he has a head start in everything I can possibly get him a head start in. I know what’s on the other side of that now. I pray that he looks forward to where he’s going, but that he finds fulfillment/lessons/joy/gratitude where he’s at each step of the way too.
Is my worth in my achievements?
I have to stop myself and get realigned with this truth often. Another reason why I don’t feel the pressure to advance my child quickly is because, I myself, am always getting caught in the thought that my worth is found in my achievements. Motherhood has been just the thing God knew I needed to remind me, that's not true. When I’m working, I feel valuable. When I’m producing things, I feel valuable. But when I’m changing poopy diapers, and listening to crying all day long, I’m like, “Umm excuse me, God, this doesn’t feel like the best use of my skills and I’d like a reset to my day please, thank you.” LOL. But for real, I know I’m doing righteous work being a mom, a wife, and a homemaker. But sometimes I don’t always feel like it. You know? And I think it comes down to me having a tendency to put my worth in things that don’t determine my worth.
And if I feel that way, I know my child may feel that way too. Especially if we are praising his achievements without praising the works too, and feeding into that “more” mentality. Here’s how I know my worth is not found in my achievements, to be true. Because when I think about my favorite people in this life, I don't love them most for their accomplishments. Those are just a bonus. I love them for the people they are as they reached those achievements. I’m very proud that my husband decided to start his own construction company. But I'm really proud of his worth ethic, and willingness to try something new. I love him for the consistent effort, loyalty, and steadfastness that he shows us each day. The business may go, but who he is, remains. I can’t wait to see the things that my child accomplishes. But cheering him on during the journey might be the most important role I have. When things don’t go to plan. When he’s tenacious after getting a setback. When he’s loyal even though it’s hard. Just as God gave us the gift of salvation because he loves us, not because of our good works, so do I aim to love Luke. His worth is in so much more than the things he will do in this world.
I kind of forgot to leave room for God
Listen, God’s always working in us and through us. But when I look back, I think I was so one-track minded, that I wasn’t leaving room for God. It’s kind of like when you’re 1 and you’re so upset because you can see through the window that your dad is outside without you so you throw a tantrum (completely unrelated to real events), that you didn’t see the door was opened to let you go outside the whole time. It’s not that God wasn’t there the whole time. It’s just that He’s had things for you to see, and you weren't looking. Thankfully, He’s so good to us, and keeps opening the door until we’re ready to look. ♡
Being advanced in something is super cool, and doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. But if you feel pressured to get your child to be advanced, maybe it’s okay if they aren’t? There’s just so much goodness in this world, that I don’t want you or your child to miss it. Here is a picture and a post that are not mine, but I think sum up my thoughts better than I can sum them up. ツ I love when it writes, "The works of God are not a destination you are headed toward, they are the works around you that you are currently walking in." Here's the link to the full post.
Much love and I’m rooting for you,
Brittany ♡
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